Before You Leave
by Red-Cherry-Flowers
Summary: Stella's thoughts after Michael's undercover job goes terribly wrong. Season 4 spoilers


**Ok before I start I just gotta rant a little about 4x07. So if you haven't discovered the fate of Michael or watched season 4 I suggest you don't read further because there are SPOLIERS! Ok, OMG! That episode actually made me cry! Poor, poor Stella, did you see how much she was crying? I actually punched the air and yelled 'YES!' when Cleo said to Stella 'you were _in_ love with Michael weren't you?' and Stella tells her to shush because the rest of the TR team can hear her and she doesn't want them to know! I actually felt so, so happy and then boom! All the Stella and Michael fans dreams shattered when fifteen minutes later he dies! I actually cried, maybe I'm too wishful thinking that Michael could recover. Damn, that's tragedy for me there. Oh well, Rush has never been really been fair with the StellaxMichael storyline, they give us one step forward and two steps back. Maybe that's why I liked it thought :) Well there's my rant so now I'm actually going to write the story.**

**Disclaimer: as always I do not own anything people so no evil eye.**

Michael's call in time had come and gone but still nothing.

The emotions swelled within Stella, one emotion dominated the others, even the fear. That was anger.

She blamed Josh. Why, _why_ did he let the stupid idiot get into the car? If it had been her she would have grabbed the scruff of his neck, thrown him into the boot of her car and driven away at high speed. Maybe she should have gone instead of Josh. He would never have gotten into the car if she had pleaded with him. The idiot would have remembered why he shouldn't get into the Raney's car. But he hadn't. And now she sat here angry at both Josh and Michael. Hadn't he cared what this would do to her?

Her instant answer was yes. But when she thought about it a little more a bulb was gently fazing to light. Something was bothering her about the whole situation, something wasn't right. No, he did care how she felt about this. He did. But even this assertion made her uneasy. She'd felt it before when she'd accused him of abandoning her, indirectly of course, when she questioned him about why he hadn't called her back.

He'd smiled slightly, reminding her that she had a girlfriend. She'd wanted to tell him he was too morally upright, that a single call from him and she would have come running at any time. But she hadn't, her gut had told her to keep her mouth shut and she'd played the best friend card instead. She thought she had imagined it but she was certain now she'd caught a tiny grimace before he'd smiled. She felt that he was lying in some way. She knew Michael, he was persistent. If he had wanted to call her he'd have called her, even if he was undercover. He could never stay away from her for long, she knew from personal experience. But this time, something was different.

It all felt better when he folded her into himself, his arms still felt the same and she clutched him a little tighter. But it didn't last long. People would be watching, so she backed away.

Then so had he, in a way that made her feel that something was wrong despite how happy she was to see him. He'd left _her_ standing there looking after _him_. She felt that she was standing outside of her own body at that moment, isolated somehow. He was acting like her, he was the one moving away and not simply to distract himself from her. She felt it in her gut again. He was actually _leaving_.

It was only then that the real feeling of fear was settling inside her. Stella suddenly felt a like a child again left to struggle in the icy waters alone.

"Stella?"

Leon interrupted her thoughts with some unrelated-Michael-news that she hardly cared for. But she had taken the job anyway because the distraction was good.

It was only when she was in the car that she realized there might have been a double meaning when Michael had said he didn't know if he would come back. Then she couldn't stop questions challenging what she thought she knew.

Maybe he didn't need her now like he had before?

Maybe he wanted more from life, had more to prove, then thinking about how such things impacted on her?

Maybe, maybe that was why he got into the Raney's car.

**Please review!**


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